Saturday, December 17, 2011

Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart

Here is a little Christmas Flashback for you... Oliver's First Christmas

FYI- I'm crying right now, how can so much change in one year?  How can one year pass so fast?  How can I love someone so much?  Most importantly- how can I stop him from growing up and leaving me?!?!?!?!? MY BABY!!!!!!!

Whew...sorry.... dramatic moment passed.

Here we are at my mom's Christmas Eve. 

I felt so happy to be able to keep up this tradition. We went down to NJ that morning, and left that night to be back in CT for Christmas morning in our own house. And we are doing it again this year. I just don't have the heart to alter our Christmas eve tradition. I feel guilty changing things. My Aunts, Uncles and cousins all gather at my moms for dinner laughs and presents. And it's wonderful. I felt bad thinking we would stop traveling down for that once we have I was ruining everyone else's Christmas. But the truth is everyone is more than understanding that traveling is getting harder for us, and they are all willing to end this tradition. BUT I'M NOT! I just can't give it up. There is something about Christmas that turns me into a child and the thought of gathering and seeing WAY TOO MANY gifts fill my mom's living room excites me. And being goofy with my family just feels so wonderful. I am so thankful Nate knows how much this tradition means to me and is willing to keep making the drive as long as possible. Afterall, it's not even 2 hours.

Nate and his brothers had cardboard Santa Clauses with their names on them to separate the gifts on Christmas morning. My sister and I had shoes. Before going up to bed we would put our Christmas shoes (later slippers) under the tree. In the morning the gifts by my shoes were mine, and the ones by hers were hers. Easy. And in the middle was usually a big gift for us to share.

Putting Oliver's Christmas shoes under the tree was monumental for me. I snapped a cell phone picture and sent it to my mom and of course she cried. I NEED to remember to get shoes for Owen (I don't bother with shoes for a baby... but for this I'm going to have to)!

I could have stood back and looked at Oliver's Santa set-up forever!  I was so overcome with joy to see the abundance!  And I was so very thankful that 1) he was given so much by my family and 2) he is too young to realize that Santa was leaving him presents he had opened the night before!

Having a huge mountain of presents was important to me (even for his first Christmas) because that's what I remember about my Christmas.  I am so glad we decided to go down to NJ for the holiday because we just couldn't have pulled off Christmas without the help and generosity of family.

As a kid my Christmas morning was AMAZING.  So many gifts!  We were really much so that my main argument (and I argued it for a VERY long time) for the existance of Santa was "My parents CANNOT afford all that!"

My mom made Christmas happen... and she made it happen hard!  I was in middle school when I finally said "Mom, are you Santa?"  But I probably knew a few years before that and was just in denial.  I still am actually.

I still, as an adult, believe in Santa.  The magic of the season is so real to me... and I still hold onto this last bit of hope that one day I will wake up a mountain of gifts.  It happens in the movies right?!  (although I have an issue with movies where Santa is real and the adults in the movie don't believe...e.g. Tim Allen's Santa Clause... because the logic is flawed.  In this world Santa EXISTS so don't the adults realize they aren't the ones doing the gifting?  What is there not to believe in? oh Hollywood....get it right!)

I can't believe last year we were celebrating Oliver's first Christmas, and this year it's Owen's first Christmas.

It's going to be such a different "first Christmas", Oliver was 10.5 months old and able to participate in the holiday.  Owen's participation at 2.5 months will be far less, but my little little baby is growing so fast!  When I hold him he is pushing himself from myself and looking all over the place...enjoying all the holiday lights and decorations maybe? I like to think so.

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