Tuesday, November 22, 2011

THAT is a four letter word.

Oliver, what do you want?
Oliver, what is that?
Oliver, are you hungry?
Oliver, where are you going?
Oliver, do you hear the baby?

"THAT THAT THAT THAT THAT" is about all I can get out of him.  I am extremely frustrated, bordering angry, with his lack of verbalization.  Here are 3 minutes and 45 seconds of frustration.  Look at what I'm dealing with.

He fights it so hard.  And I don't know what the right thing for me to be doing is.  I am constantly giving things names as he points them out.  We read.  He watches preschool shows.  I talk to him all day.  I try to hold out until he says the word but as you can see he is pretty stubborn... and if I insist for too long there is a tantrum and that is just no fun to deal with.  And in the end... he's going to get the damn cup, or whatever else he needs because I'm not about to deny my kid water, socks, or cheese (he did say cheese just before this actually in order to get seconds...but lets not talk about the socks, that was ugly).

Have I failed him?  Is it my fault?  Am I selfish in thinking staying at home with me was the best for him?  Should he be in daycare?  Because that's not going to happen.  We just can't do it financially or emotionally.

I do think part of the problem is that we got too into a routine and I know what it is that he wants.  And he knows I understand him.  Truth be told he is very good at communicating.  Just not with words.

So to keep from hating each other, we lightened the mood with a song.

See how stubborn he is?!  He says excuse me ("teetee") all the friggin time!!!  Whether the baby has a nice loud BM or burp, or daddy slips out a quiet burpish exhale, or he passes his own gas...Oliver is very good about calling it out and saying excuse me.  But tell him to say it and all of a sudden he can't?  Which makes me wonder if his lack of verbalization is a control thing.  He wants to make US do things.  He will clench his jaw and drag me where he wants me to go to get him what he wants me to get him, and REFUSE to say a thing, even if he has "words" or sounds for what he wants.  So is it part power struggle?

He said excuse me quickly with that one.  So see, he can do it... just wouldn't because I wanted him too.

So from these three videos you can see 1) How frustrating he can be, and B) How adorable he is.

From the table we went to his room to change his clothes and that's where we fought about his socks and slippers.  I don't even know why it was an issue, but he totally picked a fight over nothing.  And from there we sat down calmly together to read a book called The Yummiest Love by Lisa McCourt.  It's a very sweet little book.  It ends with: "I love you more than sunshine.  More than the moon and the million twinkling stars.  Thank you for being the you that you are" ....and with me in tears.

Ugh.  He is pretty damn perfect.  In the end that is just the him that he is.  He is Oliver.  That's just our Oliver.

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