Now and Then

Then...

I can't believe Oliver was this little.  I can't believe how long ago this seems.

It's only been 2 years!  Oh my poor heart!

And Now...

My little Owen following in his brother's shoes. 

Literally.  Following in his shoes, his pants, his onesies... it's amazing. 

To see how similar and yet individual my two little loves are is just so wonderful. 

Baby Mine

My baby Owen-

You are growing MUCH too fast.  The weeks are just flying by and I am amazed every time I look at you and you seem so different than just the day before.

You are a very easy going little one and I thank you for that.  I would also like to apologize on behalf of your brother.  He just loves you so much he can't help himself but hover over you and wake you with kisses and exclamations of "Babyyyy!"

Thank you for your smiles, and your coos, and your little fingers that open and close on my hand or my collar (sometimes my hair).

Not sure why this is upside down.

Somehow you've already grown so much that the bassinet barely contains you.  I asked your thoughts and you agree that Daddy should be kicked to the couch so you can take the bed. 

My little Owen, I am so in love with you.  I'm not even sure what to say here- I have too much love and not enough words!

At 2 months old, you love getting a bath, you love the view from your changing table, you laugh at the toy bar on your bouncy chair, and you ejoy spending time on your playmat swatting at your toys and looking in the mirror.  Tummy time is not your favorite, but already you are so strong and can hold your head up to look around, so that it is becoming more tolerable for you.

  I love that when I talk to you you smile. 

You are starting to watch Oliver and I've caught you flashing a smile or two in his direction.  I can't wait for the two of you to play together... but don't rush it little baby... you are already growing way too fast.

You weighed 13 pounds at your doctor' appointment, and that made me so happy.  I love your heavy, healthy little body- your rolly legs and chunky arms- and I adore every one of your chins!  I am so relieved that you are thriving so well.  With my own breastfeeding concerns left over from my experience with Oliver, and with all the spitting up you do (seriously...not fun), I was worried about you getting enough nourishment.  And you certaintly are.  AND you seem to have slowed down with the spitting up so I'm even happier.

You sleep well for me, my handsome boy.  Thank you, (it's my own fault I don't get enough sleep).

You look just like your Aunt!  I remember thinking Oliver looked like here when he was your age, but HOLY COW! You really do!  You have lighter hair, skin and eyes than Oliver, which makes you an even closer image of her.

Just for fun- here are a couple pictures of me and your aunt... it's like looking at you and Oliver!

Thankful for... this little face!

Look what I caught going on in my arms...

I was watching Oliver do something or other and looked down to see Owen making these funny faces and gassy smiles.

Thank goodness my camera is always right next to me!

2 weeks

Itty Bitty is 2 weeks old today.  Already!

In two weeks...

• I have fallen in love.  Not only with my new son, but I have also fallen in love with Nate and Oliver in new ways as I see them step into new roles.

• I have cuddled like there's no tomorrow... because I know my todays are numbered.

• I have melted.  Over and over again.  My home is full of love and I see it in every one of Oliver's discoveries and every one of Owen's gassy smiles.

• I have been surprised.  By Oliver, by Owen, by Nate... by myself.  We are four amazing people making up one incredible little family.

• I have appreciated the little things.  I have a wonderful life

Oh Brother!

Oliver is the BEST big brother! Ever!

It was love at first sight for him meeting his baby.  He NEEDS to kiss the baby constantly.  He is concerned whenever he hears the baby make a noise and will lead me over to check on him.  When we change the baby's diaper, Oliver will bring us his size 6 ones...just in case we need extra coverage, I guess.  He tries to give Owen his pacifier.  He helps me burp him.  He has had no problems at all welcoming the baby home to join in our routines... in fact, he's been surprisingly flexible in adapting our routine for bedtime to include Owen.

He is the BEST helper and the BEST brother!  I am one lucky momma!

Owen's Birth Story...Birth Novel...whatever.

Just over a week ago my Little Stinker was born.  He is perfect.  He is beautiful.  He is yummy.  Just scrumptious.  But man, oh man! He did not make things easy for me!
With Owen, my contractions started on a Saturday morning, and just like my experience with Oliver, they disappeared when I got out of bed.  HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT!  I was really thinking that wouldn't happen to me again.  And this time it went on even longer!  It wasn't until Thursday morning that we went to the hospital.  And I rolled out of bed and into some clothes, hair a mess, no makeup, no pictures... from the start Owen was getting different treatment than Oliver.  I was sent home, even though I was insisting that even the first time around my contractions got no closer, I had needed pitocin, and the contractions were extremely painful (gee...sorry I can handle them well I guess).

When we got home I figured I'd take a nap before breaking out the breast pump to get things moving.  As soon as I lay down I felt a contraction that made me cry out, bang on the headboard, then jump because I felt a strange pop...I had a feeling of what had happened, but when the contraction was over I dozed 10 minutes until the next extremely painful one.  By my third contraction I got up to use the bathroom and...SURPRISE my water was broken!  Back to the hospital we go, where they gave me a room right away.

I told them I had an epidural last time and would want one again (and I considered going natural this time...ha!).  The nurse told me to stand in the shower with Nate holding the water to my back to move the baby...for an hour! Then she'd come do my IV started so I could get one bag of fluid down and then I could get the epidural.  After 20 minutes I was about to send Nate to tell my mom to get that damn nurse in immediately with the IV...but my momma is on the ball and had done so on her own.

My contractions were getting closer and really intense.  I was so ashamed of myself for crying out during them.  I had been looking forward to my labor and delivery thinking everything would go as smoothly and wonderfully as Oliver's had.  I was so relaxed when I had Oliver, pushed only 25 minutes and my epidural had been absolutely magical.  Not the case this time! 

Since being admitted I had not been checked to see if there had been any change in my cervix.  The last time I had been checked was when they sent me home 3 hours earlier and I was about 3cm and almost fully effaced.  Well I was feeling pressure that had me thinking I was close to pushing so the nurse finally called in the midwife to check me.  I was at 7cm.  And then she asked where the water was...like I faked it breaking just to get the room.  "Oh there it is, must be a leak."  She seemed so disinterested.  And I had thought that I liked this midwife.  I saw her for the first prenatal appointments for each boy... after that I saw other doctors and midwives as the scheduling of my appointments happened to play out.  I had even seen an episode of a Baby Story where this midwife delivered and I was impressed by how things went.  I was so upset with her but too exhausted to let that register.  My mom, however, made it clear.

I delivered at Yale-New Haven Hospital.  I love that place... for the most part.  I know that if anything were to happen to my or the baby, we would be at the right hospital. It's a teaching hospital, and I have no problem with that, I will always allow for my care to be a teaching opportunity... but I expect that to be explained to me.  When the anesthesiologists finally came in, one took the lead and another seemed very quiet, so I figured that's what was going on.  Then another came in and spoke over the one that had initially seemed in charge.  Ok so she's learning too.  But nothing was said to me.  In the past there's always been an introduction and a question if it's ok.  Not this time.  Well they failed to help me out. 

I could see Nate getting more and more concerned and angry from the chair they stuck him in during this sterile procedure.  My mom had to leave the room and was panicking seeing more and more doctors enter.  Then Nate had told her to come back in when the epidural was in... but as soon as she was in the door he had to tell her to leave again because they had to re-do it. 

Someone else finally came in and announced it's very few people that don't feel any change, and I could tell he was proving his skill to the others who had failed.  So he re-did the epidural and doubled it up with a spinal block. 

All of a sudden I was having contractions that were pushing me up off the bed while I was sitting up to get the pain meds.  When I lied down I couldn't stop pushing and felt huge gushes of water coming out.  I was panicking "I'm pushing...I can't stop...I need him out now!" because I had been told not to and seriously had no control over it.  So the nurse calls the midwife back in, and from what Nate reports she rolled her eyes at me saying "She THINKS she has to push".  Bitch.  "I'd be surprised" says the midwife.  Well guess what... I KNOW that I AM pushing and that I can't stop no matter how I try to relax my now completely numb body.

I was at 9cm and was allowed to push.  "If she wants to push, I'll let her try".  Ugh, again...bitch!  And now thanks to that lovely spinal pushing was incredibly difficult.  I couldn't feel anything other than the pressure letting me know I was having a contraction.  I had the hardest time finding my muscles and using them to effectively push.  I had basically gone natural through the entire labor and finally got relief...but it made things harder.  Well at least it didn't hurt... I even dozed between pushes.  An hour later... Owen made his entrance.  Sunny side up.  Because that made things easier for me!

Mother Duck said "quack quack quack"....

... But only one little duck came back.

Yeah, still just one baby duck here. The other one just doesn't want to hatch! This is me on our way out the door to do the labor waddle at the mall.

Don't I look oh so rested and happy? Because I'm exhausted! And upset at being wrong about my body! I really was not expecting the dissappearing contractions this time around. Well at least I was right about him being about a week ahead of his brother's schedule.

So this makes morning #3 of contractions. Hard, uncomfortable, zone-out and occasionally whimper contractions. As soon as I get up to pee or get myself more comfortable they dissappear. So upsetting! So I try to stay flat in bedw with a full bladder as long as possible, but really- that's not the right thing to do and the last thing I need is an even weaker bladder (Oliver did enough damage there)!

Nate stayed home to deal with Oliver this morning which is lovely. I got to stay in bed and rest a bit. My head hurts, my lips feel swollen, and my socks left a deep impression on my ankles yesterday so we'll see what happens today. 39 weeks tomorrow, I say by Wednesday he's out... But let's face it- I don't know jack!

Here's hoping a few laps around the mall get things moving again. Really, I don't get how my contractions go away when I get up and active. Anyone who's been there knows this defies everything you read about going for walks and moving around to get labor going.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Happy Birthday Nana

Yesterday was Nana's birthday.  It was not Owen's birthday.  Tricky kid. 

I didn't expect another 3 days of contractions like I had with Oliver... but it looks like that's the direction we are going in.  So far we are on two consecutive early, sleepless mornings of intense contractions lasting 1.5+min and getting as close as 8 min apart that dissappear the moment I get out of bed.  Isn't moving around supposed to HELP contractions?  Well if it's going to be like Oliver, Owen should be here by Wednesday.  I was really hoping to just go into labor and not have this on and off thing again.  Bummer.

It would have been so convenient to go into labor yesterday with my mom dad and sister visiting so we could spend mom's birthday together.  Kids can never be convenient can they?  I've been at this "mom" thing less than 2 years and I already know nothing is easy!

 

Cake was yummy. For realz.

"Memmy Memmy"

Nesting is pretty much in full swing.  You know, now that I can pretty much have this baby any second and there is still loads that can be done! Yeah, so I figure it's time to get busy.   Well, stay busy.

I am still head over heals in love with the nursery set we chose for Oliver- Alphbet Soup by CoCaLo.  But when we picked it for Oliver it was already making its way to all the clearance shelves as a discontinued theme.  We snatched up as much as we could whenever/wherever we saw pieces of it.  And now that it is impossble to find... I want to buy more of it.  Thank God for the internet!

I ordered the valences and hamper that I've wanted since January 2010, and we made the decision to go with the wallpaper border since the chairail we were planning on putting up in the nursery is not going to happen any time soon...I think my MiL is the most bothered by this- since the day we moved in and I mentioned a chairail she has wanted to get it up!  Well after tons of searching I was able to find the border on ebay, confirm with Nate that we should order it, then I closed the laptop to go eat dinner...and forgot to go back and order it!  Now it is NOWHERE to be found.  So bummed.

Last night Daddy hung up the curtain rod for the valences.

Of course... Oliver needed to get in on the action.  He even brought his own tools.  He is a regular "Memmy Memmy" (which happens to be Oliver speak for "Handy Manny"...oh yeah, he can say that but he still calls me, his MOMMY, "Ba".  I would so be cool with being called Memmy, but no, I am Ba).

Here he is using Felipe to help daddy tighten screws. 

Obviously a hammer, measuring tape and plyers are needed for this job...of straightening out the already hung valence.

Since the boys are sharing the room and I still love the set so much we are splitting it up between the two cribs (well, soon to be two cribs...we finally picked one for Owen now need to order it). 

 Oliver will have the printed dustruffle, a plain sheet, and the printed comforter... there is also a blanket he can have for now since the baby won't be using those for a while. Owen will get a solid dustruffle, printed sheet and the crib bumper. Yes I will use a bumper...call CPS if you must, but I believe (unlike the city of Chicago apparently) that it is up to the parent whether or not they want to use it, AND to use it responsibly. Don't get me started on recalls that are really just a matter of negligent parenting! Umm... tub seats and video monitors anyone? Those issues were whose fault, really?

ANYWAY... with the crib set split between the two boys, I am loving how the window valences, lamp and hamper tie the theme together as a shared space for both of them.  I am considering getting the rug, but not sure if I want to spend $35 on that tiny little thing.  And now to figure out the border issue. 

If anyone comes across any Alphabet Soup items, let me know!

Baby Shower

It's been over a week since I promised a post about my baby shower.  Sorry.  Between exhaustion, laundry, baby "necessity" sorting and assembling...not to mention this preview of terrible twos Oliver is showing off... I haven't had the energy to blog.

So about the baby shower...

My mother planned it as a surprise.  They had me going, too. They were playing it off as a family and friends preview type party for a bar and lounge my dad is opening. My mom insisted Nate make sure he gets that weekend off because it's very important to my dad that we be there.  We bought that story without thinking about it much. 

Then, the day Hurricane Irene hit NJ, NY and CT my mom insisted I call my grandfather (dad's dad) who lives in Manhattan and hadn't evacuated. It seemed a little strange that my mom was telling me to call and check in on him and not my dad, but I did what she asked.  And after chatting a few minutes he apologized that he couldn't see us, wasn't sure when he'd be able to see us, not able to make it to the baby shower on the 17th.  It sounded a little something like this:

"You have the baby shower on, what, the 17th?"

"...I...don't know....."

"Yeah.  You don't know? Ooooh. You don't know.... well, you didn't talk to me."

So Nate and I had fun for a while acting like we had no idea what was going on and listening to my family discuss the cover story.  Of course it DID happen to be Nate's work weekend that he had to switch so we had my mom sweat it out a little that we might not be able to make it.  I had also been really uncomfortable and having some painful B-H Contractions so I was having fun telling my mom I couldn't make it down to NJ.

So maybe it was a little evil of us to lead them on like that, thinking they had us surprised...but we did feel bad about it.  We considered not telling them we knew, but right away someone asked if I was surprised and my response was "uuuuuuh" and I let them know about the little birdie named Grandpa.

It's all in the bag!

Little Owen Maxwell is almost here.  He can come any time he wants now and we will welcome him.  Another week or two is all I ask to finish getting ready.  But momma's not sure she can hold out almost 4 weeks until the due date.  It sounds wimpy now, actually and I guess it's not too bad...but I want my baby!

Well whenever he comes we need to be ready, and that means.... packing for the hospital!

Today we received an unexpected package from my brother and sister in law.  It really was perfect timing because along with several other very practical gift items (practicality is very much appreciated the second time around) was the most amazing diaper bag.  This thing is intense!  I'm so excited to organize it! It's going to get packed up for the hospital and after that there should be a pocket for just about everything two boys could possibly need.

For any first time moms wondering how to pack for the hospital my advice is to consider what you would use at home.  You're most likely to be in the hospital only 2-3 days.  In that short time do you need this particular item.  For example, with Oliver we brought our laptop with us.  We did use it but I think it will stay home this time.  As much time as I spend on my laptop I think I can survive two days.  If you choose not to bring something and find yourself wanting it you can always have someone bring it to you, since chances are you will have lots of people in and out to visit.

Pack light.  You won't be in the same room the entire time.  The book I read to prepare for Oliver recommended a smaller bag for labor and delivery, and sending for a second bag once you're moved to your own room.  We did decide not to carry Nate's stuff with us while we were in L&D and recovery, but I don't know if a separate bag is necessary even for mom.  I had a small duffel bag that made the entire trip with me.  Then there was Nate's bag and the baby bag.  This time it looks like baby and I will share a bag and Nate will have his small bag. 

I didn't need a single thing out of my bag in L&D.  I had packed a book but it never left the bag,  (I do think I will bring my nook this time anyway.  I was so wrapped up in what was going on- staying calm, trying to rest, and..o yeah! laboring!... that I never opened that bag.  Hardly even watched TV.

As conscious as I am attempting to be NOT to over pack...it's what I do, I'm sure I'm bringing more than I'll need for the baby in 2 days.

*not quite everything is in here yet...but that's most of it.

 

Here's what's in my bag this time:
*Two nursing bras (one comfy one with no support so I don't now why even bother with it, and one that's more bra-like to wear to move around and come home)
*Big momma panties (it's all about comfy, not so much fashion! you want something you won't mind being ruined too)
*Burp cloths (but now that I think about it these probably aren't necessary because baby will most likely be on a colostrum diet and have very little milk to dribble or spit)
*Two nursing gowns (this time I just got two cheap nightgowns from Sears that have buttons instead of the maternity nursing gowns that are more expensive and didn't survive long last time anyway)
*Coming home outfits for mom and baby (remember socks and a hat for baby, and for mom I recommend yoga pants and a nice shirt for pictures- any dressier than that is your own choice, comfort is my #1 priority)
*Baby clothes and socks (really a coming home outfit is all that's necessary but you may want to dress your little one in something other than the too-big hospital onesie)
*Boppy pillow (brought a body pillow instead for Oliver, a regular pillow works just as well to prop up your arm and the baby while nursing so this isn't completely necessary either but the boppys are good to prop baby up for pictures)
*Blanket (I'm not bothering with a swaddling blanket because you will have hospital ones to use, but a heavier fleece lined blanket is nice to have to help baby regulate his body temperature and stay warm on the trip home)
*Camera & camcorder (remember extra batteries and/or charger unless you plan on having everything freshly juiced ahead of time...I'd probably still pack extra because all the pictures you'll take may drain it faster than normal)
*Nook (already mentioned how this probably is one of those things I won't need, but I'd like to have it with me anyway)
*Toiletries and make-up (you don't need your full arsenal, but keep in mind there will be lots of cameras and lots of pictures and you will want to like them...so look nice or at least nice-ish)
*Cell phones and chargers

Other things to consider:
*Extra pillows or blankets for hubby (he won't get the best sleep in the hospital so if he's picky to begin with these might be worth bringing in once you're settled down)
*Extra bags for gifts/ stuff you'll take from the hospital (the nurses will most likely give you plastic drawstring bags if you really need it, plus you can send things home slowly with visitors).
*Snacks/cash (the hospital I was in had really yummy food, but you will most likely be up and hungry before breakfast service starts...Nate doesn't think it is totally necessary to pack stuff because there is a dunkin donuts, a subway, and a walgreens just outside our hospital... ok by me!)
*A bathing suit for dad if you plan on a water birth or standing in the shower while laboring.

Things you'll take from the hospital: (pretty much whatever you can!)
*As many diapers and wipes as they'll bring you
*Formula samples
*Aspirator
*Some sexy gauze underwear  (you probaly won't need them by the time your home but take them just in case...I still have like 8 pairs from when I came home with Oliver)
*Nipple cream
*Gauze pads and petroleum jelly (for circumcized boys)
*Squirt bottle (it's for cleansing yourself "down there" and is pretty soothing when you're swollen and afraid of even wiping believe me! plus it's great later to use on laundry to almost to powerwash baby's poo leaks off the onesies)
*Swaddling blanket (you probably have cute ones at home, but for sentimental reasons you will want at least one of the hospital ones to come home with you)

Tuesday Tummy Time!

36weeks down! 28 days till baby's due date!

I honestly don't know how this kid is going to stay up in there 4 more weeks BUT you just never know with these buggers do ya? 

Now let's all pretend we have X-Ray vision and can take a peek at little Baby Owen:

Courtesy of BabyCenter.com

"Your baby is gaining about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy hair that covered her body, as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Next week, your baby will be considered full-term. Most likely she's in a head-down position, but if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an external cephalic version, where she'll try to turn your baby by manipulating her from the outside of your belly."

I don't think there's any need for that manipulation BabyCenter is talking about.  This kid is riding loooooow and good to go.  Seriously.  There is so much weight on my pubic bone I feel bruised most of the time and have had to break out the ice pack.  Sorry...TMI?  There's no such thing with pregnancy!

My BH contractions are getting PAINFUL! and low and I've even had back contractions when I switch positions at night.  Not fun.  Scary....yet exciting.  After next week it will be mostly exciting knowing that at 37 weeks Owen will be considered full term and any labor would hopefuly not be stopped at that point.  With Oliver at home and family out of state I can't play around with the whole going-to-the-hospital/going-back-home thing. 

Feeling the way I've been feeling I really see this kid coming a week early at least, but I'm pretty sure almost every pregnant woman has had the same thought and been wrong.  I have an appointment tomorrow (the lovely strepB swab) so hopefully we'll learn what's going on down there in Babylandia. 

In the meantime- we are working on planning for what will go down at go time, making out instructions for Oliver's care, and packing the hospital bag!  It's time to get serious with this baby prep!

Bringing Home Baby

Not even two years ago we were leaving the hospital with the most precious souvenire ever... our baby boy Oliver.  I can't believe the big monkey next to me with scraped knees was once this little bundle. 

It was kind of sad leaving the hospital.  It was like we had been in our own little bubble, our own private world.  Nate had stayed the whole time with me and the baby was in our room the whole time too, only being taken out when they weighed him and checked stats each night.  Leaving the hospital was like going back out into the real world were we had to take care of ourselves and protect this precious baby from everything out there. (Not to mention I was going to miss the room service!)

Getting close to Baby Owen's due date has us thinking about how things went the first time as we make plans for the hospital and coming home.  Nate mentioned getting Owen's coming home outfit and I had him get Oliver's out of the basement where it was put away with other outgrown clothes.  I had always figured each kid would get his own, but for some reason I automatically answered Nate that I had to wash Oliver's for Owen.  Which led to last nights yo-yo decision:  Reuse? Get a new one?  We see positives in both.  Very close friends of ours used the same outfit for all three of their kids.  But there's was neutral so having a girl after two boys wasn't a problem for them reusing it.  In our case, if the next baby (YEARS down the road!!!) were to be a girl, there is no way we would bring her home in a blue outfit, so is it fair that she would get her own?  And wouldn't it be nice to one day give each kid their outfit to use or not use as they build there own families?  But the emotional impact of seeing both of our boys in the same beautiful outfit calls to me too.  Plus, it took forever to find this outfit that we liked for Oliver to come home in. 

One more thing-  we got this outfit at a consignment store.  Does the fact that a stranger-baby wore it once make it less special?  Sometimes I feel like I can't really say "This is Oliver's special outfit," because they are second-hand (even though I don't know whose hand came first).

I think we've made our decision, but what's your opinion on the matter?